Everyday Unmasking

While not included in the worksheets online, there was a challenge listed on page 187 of “Unmasking Autism” that I’m gonna talk about.

Everyday unmasking. Be radically visible, or: let my freak flag fly.

How can I go about that, though? To say it with delicious deliberate alliteration; I am somewhat conscious of being conspicuous. And for some kinds of self expression there is also a practicality element to keep in mind.

But there are things I could do more of, or less self-consciously at least:

• bring stim and fidget toys around. I like to keep my hands/mind busy, more than I’ve been consciously aware of.
• I really really like how flowy/drapey clothing feels. Long cardigans, loose trousers. Maybe even somewhat androgynous. A long cardigan and leggings is very nice. And wear more jewelry, even if we run into a practicality issue. Not to mention a ‘get it off, get it off’ issue at some point.
• Unencumbering clothing in general, with a proper high rise and otherwise fit. Current fashion trends be damned.
• I don’t really see a need to be more overtly metal coded. My wardrobe is conveniently full of band tees, jeans and cargo pants though. I can be more unashamedly, visibly interested in things, however. Stickers and pins everywhere! My backpack now has a “nightmare before christmas” pin set, for example. And I love it!
• I dance and bop to good music in headphones already. Could do this more consciously (or less self-consciously) I guess.

There was a collection of challenges that were along the lines of keeping social resources in check. This is more of a challenge. I have a family and am a father, so anticipating others emotions is kind of my job. It’s a hard job sometimes, mind. And when this also has been a central component of my jobby-job as well… there’s a lot of wear and tear.

I am working on just taking action. My wife also has some flavours of neurodivergence, and keeping some decision fatigue from her is actually helpful for both of us.

This turned out quite rambly actually. Masking in general has been on my mind a lot. How much of my behavior is actually me? This will be interesting to unpack, at least.